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Life, death and marketing

QUESTION 1: RELEVANCE
You are a Dutch advertising professional. How many times can you bring up the refugee crisis during lunch?

a) About once a month.
b) Never. We’re in marketing. Not in politics.
c) Anytime. This is about money, media and image building at the highest level.

QUESTION 2: TARGETS
How many people fit in an average death boat?

a) The boat was built for 30 people, so it will take 30 people.
b) The boat was built for 30, but I can fit in 50 people.
c) 60 people easy, if I take a lot of children.

QUESTION 3: CALCULATE
If 100 boats arrive every day with 60 refugees aboard, and everyone on board pays 1500 dollars, how much money can you make in one day? How much is that in a month?

QUESTION 4: RETURN ON INVESTMENT
You are an entrepreneur. You manufacture ‘IAWAHA’ life vests. You fill them with plastic instead of floating materials and sell them to refugees for 100 euros a piece. If the sea gets rough, how many bodies will float back to the Turkish shore, so you can sell the life vests twice?

a) Who cares. I am making 60 x 100 euros.
b) This is a trick question. Fake life vests do not float, so no bodies will make it back to the Turkish coast. They will go straight to the bottom.

QUESTION 5: EFFECTIVENESS
What is the best way to rob Syrian refugees?

a) Take their backpacks when they are in the death boats. Rob them at night by putting a knife on their rubber boat. Easy money.
b) The ‘Albanian taxi service‘: once they reach the Greek shore, charge 800 euros for a 15 minute cab ride. Stop the car on a deserted road and rob all passengers in the car. If they have 800 euros, they are likely to have more.
c) Pick a family. Threaten the father with a gun. Take their money. Hold his wife hostage. Force him to steer the next death boat for you. If he refuses, shoot him and find the next family. If he doesn’t make it for some reason, shoot his wife. Sell the children.

QUESTION 6: KICKBACK
You are a Turkish helicopter pilot, in charge of patrolling the coast. The refugee boats are lined up on the same shore every day. How many boats do you prevent from crossing?

a) Stupid question. I have a helicopter with guns. Every day, I shoot all the empty rubber boats, before the refugees get in. This way, no boats will ever reach Greece.
b) Stupid question. I don’t want to damage those boats. I shoot as little as possible. Someone gives me money for every boat that makes it across.
(See question 3.)

QUESTION 7: OUT OF THE BOX
You own a big airline. You are selling airplane tickets to refugees from Turkey directly to Amsterdam. How much can you make?

a) A lot. I can charge about 500 euros per person. War refugees do not need a visa.
b) Nothing. I am afraid to lose money: if a refugee that I fly into Europe does not get refugee status, I have to pay for the return flight.
c) I’m ok with breaking even (and some karma points). So I will charge them double air fare and fly them to safety. And if I ever have to pay for a return flight, the money is covered.

QUESTION 8: BRAND BUILDING
Do you support the Geneva Convention?

a) Yes
b) No
c) Only in theory.

QUESTION 9: TARGET GROUPS
Put these nationalities in order of importance:

a) Syrian
b) Irani
c) Afghan
d) Dutch

QUESTION 10: BUSINESS MODEL
You’re Turkey (the country). How do you get paid?

a) Collect as many refugees as you can and put them in huge camps. Threaten to send them into Europe if the EU does not pay more and make you an EU member.
b) Turn a blind eye on the people smugglers.
c) Both answers are correct.

QUESTION 11: COLLABORATION
You and your friends are on the beach of a Greek island. You see boats coming with a lot of refugees. What should you do?

a) Help the volunteers there to get as many people to safety as possible.
b) Steal the motors off the boats. Load them onto your pickup truck. Leave.

QUESTION 12: INTEGRATED CAMPAIGNING
What is the best way to integrate refugees into our society?

a) Protest their arrival.
b) Separate them from their families.
c) Put them in camps.
d) Put them in camps and move them to a different camp every 2 weeks.
e) Put them in camps in the Turkish desert. Hold them there for a couple of years. Forbid them to work. Do not provide education.

QUESTION 13: PRODUCT PLACEMENT
You’re a politician in charge of placing a refugee camp for 1000 people. Where should you place the camp to be most effective?

a) In a small town with less than 500 inhabitants.
b) In a big city with excellent infrastructure, where refugees can integrate easily and where cultural diversity is common.

QUESTION 14: MEDIA
In the 1930’s we saw what happened to Jews, black people and gypsies. Today, we see what is happening to Syrians, Afghans and others. Do you think there is a difference?

a) Yes
b) No
c) I don’t care

Alternative Text
Maarten Boer